Bad Words, Biting and Stealing
Children at the age of 4-5 years, commonly boys, may mouth abuses and bad words. It comes as a shock to the conscentitious parents to hear such words from the mouth of their child. Do not beat the child. Rather firmly let him know that you and other people don’t want to hear such words as they are bad and that he should not use them again as you don’t want him to use them.
Some children have the tendency to bite others (parents or children) particularly when they are frustrated and irritable. Perhaps such children are being disciplined too much, resulting in a highly-strung child. The parents should pay attention to the environment of the child and try to make it soothing so that the child is in a more relaxed and calm state and not easily provoked. Plus they should make it clear in no uncertain terms that that they don’t like and condone such “animal” behaviour and don’t want him to repeat it in future.
Some children steal deliberately knowing that it is wrong, but somehow just cannot resist the impulse. It appears as if they derive satisfaction out of it. This type of stealing usually comes at the age of 6 years + when the child understands that stealing is something that is forbidden. Before that, children may sometimes take some things from others’ home or from the shop just because they liked it, without being aware that it is tantamount to stealing and hence something bad.
In such cases, the parents simply need to remind their child that it is not their good or toy, and that he should go and give it to the proper owner. A child who deliberately steals should be made to confess that he has done it, made to realize that it is something wrong which they don’t want him to repeat in future, plus the parents should insist on restitution of the thing to its rightful owner by the child himself. Don’t humiliate or beat the child, rather make it clear to him that it can’t be permitted.
Right and Left-handedness
Many children are ambidextrous till the age of 1-2 years. Only after that they show preference towards one hand. Handedness is usually established by the age of 3 years. There is no evidence to show that a left-handed person is more or less gifted than a right-handed person. So don’t make an issue and force the child to use the right hand (which parents believe is better). If you put things like toys etc. towards the right side of the child, there is a likelihood that he will use the right hand preferentially and hence will be right handed. But this should be started early before handedness is established.
Teeth Grinding
Teeth grinding (“bruxism”) usually occurs during the night. It is because a child, who is normally submissive in the day, acts out his aggression during the night-time by grinding his teeth. The usual history is that of a docile child who is bullied and ridiculed by his peers. Thus he develops a suppressed anger, which is “vented” out in the night by teeth grinding.
Helping the child in becoming more aware of his rights and telling the child to fight for his rights plus helping him to find other, alternate ways of expressing resentment may relieve this problem. Organic causes for bruxism includes worm infestations, chronic abdominal disorders, middle ear effusions, allergic rhinitis, and anal pruritus. These should be sought for and treated.