1. Verbal or non-verbal expression of disapproval: It is an effective means of punishment for all age groups. Verbal disapproval is more effective when combined with positive instructions on appropriate behaviour. Another important concept of discipline is that the focus should be on the misbehaviour which should be pointed out to the child as undesirable; and not on belittling or humiliating the child.
2. Learning by experience: Some types of behaviour are most effectively extinguished when the child learns by experiencing the negative consequences of his actions. By verbally telling him not to do a particular thing may not be effective and he may go on repeating the action. But when he experiences the negative consequence of his action, it is extinguished. For example, if you tell the child that he should always hold the hands of the parents when they are in the market, the child may not do so, and instead enjoy being independent and running here and there.
Now, once if the parents hide themselves, so that the child after his bit of fun cannot locate them, he will get very anxious and start crying. After a brief interval of his crying, when you appear and explain to him why he should hold hands, he will do it regularly afterwards, because he has learnt that if he doesn’t, he may get lost and may not be able to locate his parents.
3. Delaying privileges: Delaying things that the child likes till other less pleasurable tasks are completed is also effective. For example, the child may love watching cartoons on the T.V. Parents can lay down the pre- condition that they will allow him to watch it, onlv if he first, say, completes his homework. Similarly, if the child mishandles his toys, they should be removed, if he spills juice on the ground, he should be made to clean it up etc., before giving him more juice etc.
4. “Time out”: It is an effective method for extinguishing disruptive behaviour. It works in a child of even 8 months and consists in temporarily boycotting him, i.e. withdrawing him from social interaction temporarily. Parents should maintain a calm demeanour and avoid engaging in angry lectures or negotiations with the child.
An isolated, but not frightening, spot should be chosen for the “time out” and if in spite of one warning, the child persists in some undesirable behaviour, he should be led firmly to that spot and let him remain there, devoid of any social interaction or other interesting thing. Consistency and perseverance are vital for the success of this technique. Initially the child may show resistance and may not remain in the isolated spot or start creating a racket if put there. It is at this point that the parents consider it a useless technique and give up. But as mentioned before, perseverance and patience pays dividends.
Once the child knows that if he does something undesirable, he has to “retire” to the isolated spot, come what may, he will be less disposed to displease his parents and at the first warning will terminate the undesirable behaviour. The length of “time out” should be brief, approximately 1 minute for every year, to a maximum of 5 minutes. This technique loses its effectiveness once the child becomes 5 years +. When the “time out” period is over, the child should be welcomed back to the social setting without further mention or discussion of his misbehaviour. After time out, it is important to help the child learn the socially appropriate behaviour, and to compliment positive behaviour on his part.
5. Giving child choices: Don’t give the child too many choices, i.e. “do you want to…?” If you ask the child whether he will have food, whether they should dress him up, what clothes he wants to wear etc., you are asking for trouble as the natural instinct of the child, particularly during ages 1-3 years is to say “no”. Then you have to argue and persuade the child. Ultimately you spend a lot of your time, energy and patience in making the child do what was necessary in the first place anyhow. So it is better not to offer him a choice in the first place in the form of a question. Rather when it is lunchtime, just lead him to the table or start dressing or undressing him up when required, all in a casual and nonchalant manner.