1. Corporal punishment: The term discipline while frequently used to mean some sort of punishment actually is derived from the word “disciple” which means to teach. By complimenting good behaviour, and setting consistent and appropriate limits for unwanted traits, the child is made to distinguish between the desirable and the undesirable, the good and the bad. Punishment, when necessary, should be age appropriate and not psychologically destructive to the child. Corporal punishment is not only less effective than positive reinforcement, but also potentially harmful. It teaches a child that physical aggression is an acceptable way of dealing with anger. In the long run, it makes them insolent and rowdy.
1. Strictness or permissiveness: In discipline, either strictness or permissiveness is not the main issue. Good hearted parents who are not afraid to be firm when the situation demands get good results with either moderate strictness or moderate permissiveness. On the other hand strictness that comes from harsh feelings and is too rigid, not appropriate to the situation or permissiveness in which parents are vacillating and filled with indecision as to how to deal with the child can lead to poor results. The real issue is the attitude the parents have in rearing up and managing the child and what attitude is engendered in the child as a result.
• Strictness: Some parents may lean towards a moderate amount of strictness, it being a part of their nature. They should stick to their convictions that what they are doing is correct and thus not have indecisions in their minds. This type of strictness is not harmful as long as the parent-child emotional bond is a secure one.
Strictness is harmful when the parents are rigid, harsh and chronically disapproving (chronic don’t do this, don’t do that, i.e. chronic “noes”) plus the strictness doesn’t take into consideration the child’s age, individuality, and the situation. In other words, it is inflexible.
• Permissiveness: Parents who on the other hand are easy going by nature, who are not strict about the child’s mannerisms as long as it doesn’t transgress harmlessness, can also raise good children, as long as these parents are not afraid to be firm about matters that they consider important and crossing certain limits. There are some parents who are too permissive. They literally allow the child to get away with murder. They turn a blind eye and look the other way whenever the child commits some act that is not to be condoned.
They do not demand much from their child and lets him rule the roost. These types of parents are usually indecisive and timid or more commonly harbour some sub conscious guilt vis-a-vis the upbringing of their child. The children of such parents are apt to be tyrants and demanding, raising a racket and throwing all types of tantrums whenever theii wishes are not being fulfilled. This is because they have never been disciplined and no limits set upon them firmly. So they consider that whatever they do, think or want is correct and should be complied with.
2. Family atmosphere: Thus, the most important factor in discipline is not strictness or permissiveness, but growing up in a loving family atmosphere where the child feels wanted, being loved and wanting to love in return. In discipline parents have to act as guides, as they are older and mature. Therefore the responsibility of parents is to see to it that their child is on the right track, and if not, to deal with it firmly.
3. Punishment: The best test of a punishment is the effect that it has on the child. If it has hurt him very much, the punishment was too harsh. On the other hand, if it makes the child repeat the same behaviour, uncaring towards the parental “no”, it is missing fire. Once in a while, the parent’s anger may get out of control and they may slap the child. It is acceptable, as long as it is not used as a “routine” technique by the parents in disciplining the child.
4. Threats: Avoid threats, particularly those about which you are not serious or are not in a position to carry out. Once the child realizes the hollowness of the threat, it destroys the parents’ authority. Scary threats, as those of a policeman or a ghost are wrong. A threat should be used judiciously and should be real. Harmless behaviours like temper tantrums, sulking, fussiness, whining etc. are most effectively extinguished by consistently ignoring them and not by means of threats.1. Corporal punishment: The term discipline while frequently used to mean some sort of punishment actually is derived from the word “disciple” which means to teach. By complimenting good behaviour, and setting consistent and appropriate limits for unwanted traits, the child is made to distinguish between the desirable and the undesirable, the good and the bad. Punishment, when necessary, should be age appropriate and not psychologically destructive to the child. Corporal punishment is not only less effective than positive reinforcement, but also potentially harmful. It teaches a child that physical aggression is an acceptable way of dealing with anger. In the long run, it makes them insolent and rowdy.
1. Strictness or permissiveness: In discipline, either strictness or permissiveness is not the main issue. Good hearted parents who are not afraid to be firm when the situation demands get good results with either moderate strictness or moderate permissiveness. On the other hand strictness that comes from harsh feelings and is too rigid, not appropriate to the situation or permissiveness in which parents are vacillating and filled with indecision as to how to deal with the child can lead to poor results. The real issue is the attitude the parents have in rearing up and managing the child and what attitude is engendered in the child as a result.
• Strictness: Some parents may lean towards a moderate amount of strictness, it being a part of their nature. They should stick to their convictions that what they are doing is correct and thus not have indecisions in their minds. This type of strictness is not harmful as long as the parent-child emotional bond is a secure one.
Strictness is harmful when the parents are rigid, harsh and chronically disapproving (chronic don’t do this, don’t do that, i.e. chronic “noes”) plus the strictness doesn’t take into consideration the child’s age, individuality, and the situation. In other words, it is inflexible.
• Permissiveness: Parents who on the other hand are easy going by nature, who are not strict about the child’s mannerisms as long as it doesn’t transgress harmlessness, can also raise good children, as long as these parents are not afraid to be firm about matters that they consider important and crossing certain limits. There are some parents who are too permissive. They literally allow the child to get away with murder. They turn a blind eye and look the other way whenever the child commits some act that is not to be condoned.
They do not demand much from their child and lets him rule the roost. These types of parents are usually indecisive and timid or more commonly harbour some sub conscious guilt vis-a-vis the upbringing of their child. The children of such parents are apt to be tyrants and demanding, raising a racket and throwing all types of tantrums whenever theii wishes are not being fulfilled. This is because they have never been disciplined and no limits set upon them firmly. So they consider that whatever they do, think or want is correct and should be complied with.
2. Family atmosphere: Thus, the most important factor in discipline is not strictness or permissiveness, but growing up in a loving family atmosphere where the child feels wanted, being loved and wanting to love in return. In discipline parents have to act as guides, as they are older and mature. Therefore the responsibility of parents is to see to it that their child is on the right track, and if not, to deal with it firmly.
3. Punishment: The best test of a punishment is the effect that it has on the child. If it has hurt him very much, the punishment was too harsh. On the other hand, if it makes the child repeat the same behaviour, uncaring towards the parental “no”, it is missing fire. Once in a while, the parent’s anger may get out of control and they may slap the child. It is acceptable, as long as it is not used as a “routine” technique by the parents in disciplining the child.
4. Threats: Avoid threats, particularly those about which you are not serious or are not in a position to carry out. Once the child realizes the hollowness of the threat, it destroys the parents’ authority. Scary threats, as those of a policeman or a ghost are wrong. A threat should be used judiciously and should be real. Harmless behaviours like temper tantrums, sulking, fussiness, whining etc. are most effectively extinguished by consistently ignoring them and not by means of threats.