CURE OF SCHOOL PHOBIA
The important thing is that the child should not miss schools, because then it becomes all the more difficult to cure it. The parents should find out what exactly is making the child fearful of school. Talking with the child and the teachers may reveal the cause. Most likely it will be one of the factors mentioned above (at the age of 3-4 years, it is usually separation anxiety). If the parents feel that the cause is not separation anxiety but something else like a stern teacher, a bully etc., they should not hesitate, but rather go and discuss the matter openly with the principal or the class teacher. Once the parents have an idea of the child’s fear, they can take steps to rectify it, alone; with the help of the teachers; or with the help of doctors.
POOR SCHOOL PERFORMANCE
There are many reasons like depression, anxiety (paradoxically anxiety in some children enhances their school performance, as they fear that if they don’t do well in school, they will be ridiculed), physical causes such as chronic diseases leading to prolonged school absenteeism, visual and hearing problems etc. Then there are some specific psychological diseases like learning disabilities, hyperactivity, autism, mental retardation, chromosomal anomalies like Down’s Syndrome etc. which may make the child a poor school performer.
Sometimes a child is overwhelmed by the huge amount of syllabus and the furious pace of teaching and struggles to keep pace with it. If he fails in his efforts, he will become depressed, feel helpless and thus a poor school performer.
The treatment lies in the cause and has to be individualised. It is always better to seek medical opinion, if the child’s performance is really poor at school. After a medical cause like learning disabilities, mental retardation, hearing and visual problems etc has been ruled out, the help of the teachers should be sought. If the child is still unable to cope up, it is better to make him repeat or study in a lower grade.
PARENTAL PRESSURES ON THE CHILD
Parental expectations may make the child over conscientious. He keeps going over the lessons that he has already learnt or the exercises he has already finished for fear that something is missing, incomplete or incorrect on his part. This is due to a lack of security in the child, plus the fact that the child has set very high standards for himself (mostly parent induced) that everything should be 100% perfect and no mistakes should be made. This quest for perfection may put him under great stress. The parents should imbibe in the mind of child that he by and large knows all the lessons, is intelligent enough and even if he doesn’t remember a few things or makes some mistakes, it is all right.
Finally, the most important thing for the parents to realise is that most of the children are of normal intelligence. It is only the parental pressures and expectations that put a big strain on the child. As I mentioned before in this book, we are making neurotics out of our children by burdening them with our high expectations. By all means, think positively, inculcate good and positive habits of studying in your child, but do it at his pace and his capability to cope up with it; and not at the pace and the standards that you deem necessary.