Do not allow your emotions to get built up. Do not hold grudges. Accuse, abuse or fight if need be. This is an outlet for your stored emotions. Many a time, it is not possible to shout or abuse or raise our voice as we supposedly live in a cultured society. For your own sake, solve your problem one way or another, do not keep it lingering on. Not long ago a patient came to me filled with mental distress. He had not been able to sleep well for years. He was irritable, had a bad tummy upset, and an irritation of the throat and chest.
After going through his long history of illness and examining him, I concluded that his brothers, though he himself was quite well to do. The law suits were being fought in courts of law and there was no end in sight. With cordiality gone and hatred mounting, the effect of all this started descending from a mental to physical level. I advised him to go home, withdraw or lose but end all the pending court matters and then come back to me. To my surprise he did as advised. In a few weeks he bouncing with joy both physically and mentally. He had become a new man. He had zest for life.
The ability to let off steam or relieve tension now and again seems to help. We can express our feelings and unwind ourselves in many different ways, share our feelings and with those whom we know and trust. Having the capacity to laugh at ourselves now and then allows us to relax. Screaming and yelling will also help though it may not be socially acceptable.
The fear of a nuclear holocaust has been keeping Americans and Europeans tense. The collection of a nuclear arsenal enough to finish the world a hundred times is adding to people’s anxiety and their tension. A nuclear war in Europe, it is estimated will wipe out instantly some 150 million people. Half the survivors would have permanent injuries. A nuclear physicist, Mr. Joseph Hotblat, told a conference of world doctors and medical scientists from 30 countries, in Cambridge, that a nuclear holocaust will so contaminate the atmosphere that it will be totally dark even during the day.
Survivors would die of starvation as farming would prove impossible. Some time ago the news of a wayward satellite which had left the moon orbit and was entering the earth atmosphere created panic. Scientists did not know where it would fell. For several days the world was tensed up. Mercifully, the wayward missile fell into the sea, a few miles away from the coast of Australia. Newspapers which daily carry their fare of news of murders, communal riots, suicides, terrorism, rape, bride burning make the readers tense. A psychologist suggested not to read newspapers or hear the radio or TV news if such news made you tense.
Love and compassion of your wife, your children, your relatives, your friends are important in that they can fill you up and relieve you from tension. In a study it was found that women who shared an intimate relationship with lover or husband were 90 percent less likely to become depressed than women who had no such relationship to turn to. Workers eased out of their jobs are less likely to become depressed or ill if they had supportive marital relationship. A proper relationship based on love and friendship can be a great outlet for easing pent-up feelings.
Children who are fed on mother’s milk grow in much more psychologically stable environment than children fed on bottle milk, several studies have emphasised. Most likely, this is due to the fact that apart from good quality milk, the love that a mother imparts to her child by holding him close to her breasts in an affectionate hug is something that makes all the difference. The special position that the child’s spine takes when held in the mother’s lap helps it to grow in a normal way.
Auto-suggestion can help relieve tension. A strong suggestion, or faith, or belief, in oneself can help you out of tension. If you can strongly suggest to a person and build his confidence it will help him to come out of his problem. I remember a person telling me that if he suggests strongly to a person that he will probably fall sick, his body temperature will rise and may even be bed ridden. If in the same way it can be suggested that a person will come out of his misfortune it has to and does work.
Another person claimed that he had powers to make a person known to him to make him get up from deep sleep, come to the window, look out, and go back to bed, all from a distance. A strong mind can overpower a weak mind and help him to relax and give constructive help. Psychotherapy and hypnotism are based on this principle. Tabeej provided by faqirs, black threads offered by sadhus, metallic rings from tantrics and astrologers, are supposed to give help. Through suggestion the wearer feels secure and more confident that he can override misfortunes.
Once a person asked Gandhiji how to get rid tension. Gandhiji suggested to him to recite Ram nam (God’s name). Faith in God can help people to come out their misery. If you can recite God’s name with faith and confidence it will help you. If you strongly feel that he will protect you, you will feel his hand of protection. Faith plays a major role. We work for a reward. We help others with a hope to get help in our own needs. When it is not coming we get frustrated. The Bhagvad Gita has a lot of matter which is of therapeutic value in the Indian context, and can provide a book approach to positive mental health, according to a research study on this holy book.
The message of the Gita will greatly help people plunged in meaningless competition and frustration. The therapeutic package for problems and anxiety is based on the principle of “Nishkam-karma” (work without expecting rewards). This has helped people to function effectively in an achievement oriented world where reward might not always be certain.
There is also the other concept of immortality of the soul which is especially soothing for some one grieving for the loss and come over emotional disturbances of old age. The Budhists believe in rebirth. Recently a lama was believed to have been reincarnated in Osel, meaning clear in light. He was born to a Spanish couple, Maria and Paco, near Grenada in Southern Spain, on February 25, 1985, a little less than a year after the death of Yeshe, a lama of Kopam monastery in Nepal. Budhist emissaries travelled far and wide to find the boy in Spain. From Delhi young Osel was taken to Nepal. According to Maria and Paco, found by lama Tubtan Zopan the great disciple of Lama Yeshe. It was only after a series of tests that it was discovered to be the true reincarnation of his mentor.